Singing for Joy

Myla was singing spiritedly the other day. She did a near-perfect rendition of an older Christmas tune... Not sure why that caught-on around here so late in the winter season... It's the warmest March I can recall. In fact, if we get through the next few days with no snow, we will make history! Thus far in recorded history, no March has unraveled its days without any snowfall. There's a first time for everything! (Not too sure what that means for the planet, but it means this month has been a welcome early-spring!) 

She's been so eager to learn songs and sing them... She really enjoys it. She makes songs up around here regularly... To no specific tune, she'll rehearse these verses almost daily: "I love my mom, I love my dad... I love my sister.... They are so cuuuuute!" 

We continue to encourage her enjoyment of this activity. After completing the aforementioned holiday ditty without a hitch, and in its entirety, for the first time, Daddy provided accolade... "WOW! Nice job. You sing better than Daddy, you know that?" 

"Yeppy, I dooooooo!" came her response ~ (without missing a beat; no pun intended.)

TIP: I believe music has a way of inspiring people. It can enhance an existing emotion in just the right way, or adjust a mood for the better in as little as a few seconds. It is simply amazing how it can feed the soul, generate ideas, and allow one to artistically self-express. Everyone can relate to it in some form. Expose kids to it early, and provide variety. Even if they don't create music of their own one day, they will only stand to benefit. 

QUOTES: “Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.” ~Unknown

“Music is what feelings sound like.” ~Unknown

WHIDFML: Talked at length to a friend whom I've missed chatting with! We will resume regular interaction again :)  

Big Girrrrrrrrrrrrl!

Mark you calendars: March 16, 2010 ~ 

Myla decided (after chewing it to grossness) that it would be best to send her Nun-Nun (Nuk) off to the Nun-Nun-Fairy for good... "I think the Nun-Nun-Fairy should throw it away..." She reasoned. OKAY! Sounds like a plan to me! So we neatly inserted our letter, and the shell-of-a-nuk into an envelope, safely sealed with Winnie the Pooh stickers. (Insert "OMG" Verbiage HERE!)

She has now been separated from her sister for "nap", being that she refuses to accomplish one. I'm listening as she's singing to herself behind the closed door of the 3rd bedroom, adjacent to my location at the computer. So she didn't want to sleep. But, she didn't cry about the nuk either... And hey - she's singing! I think this might be what they refer to as progress?? JOY!

TIP: Sometimes, leaving it alone can work to your advantage. She wanted to initiate that... Now, she has! :) (Yay.)
A QUOTE: “All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, unpremeditated act without benefit of experience. ~” Henry Miller
WHIDFML: Kept the faith :) (God knows our needs!)

Spring Cleaning (of the Mind & Soul)...

For years now, one way in which I find myself 'dealing' with the onslaught of stress as it occurs, is by cleaning. I clean house... clean the truck, clean out the junk-drawers, organize closets... I can't seem to get enough. It's not that I enjoy cleaning. I enjoy the results of cleaning. I used to think it was my way of taking some control of my situation - by effectively altering my space and providing myself with a more soothing environment. As it turns out, I realize that it's not about control - but rather - about acquiring a clean-slate. I need a means of 'starting fresh' - and refreshing my surroundings gives me a starting-point. In cleaning out my cluttered environment, I allow my mind to become less engulfed in cluttered thought, and ta-da! Clean slate :)
Since about the age of 24 (wow, 7 years already), I've made it a priority to manage stress in my life, and not take on too much. I want to enjoy life - thrive... I don't have interest in merely surviving. We all have to do certain things to survive. We have to make various sacrifices and adjustments. That's to be expected. This is also heavily based upon our specific goals/ dreams. But there is something inherently wrong with a culture where money becomes more valuable than the time to enjoy life. Too often, we become so absorbed in the small stuff - and forget about what's truly important. I decided a long time ago that I refuse to live that way. I also chose not to sell my soul to any industry - even when it came to my dream-job. Now, I work for myself doing what I'm most passionate about, while also being there with my kids. It's not easy, it's still work, but It's meaningful and fulfilling, and I don't have to answer to anyone but myself, and those closest to and most important to me. 

I went to sleep last night with my head spinning. Joel and I had a heart-to-heart about babe #1. I had been feeling bogged down, frustrated, unsure, and exhausted. It was an opportunity to reassess some things, and determine what needed redirecting. Namely - Joel and I have to be the parents - always...  (And though we have Addie in check, it'll be hard to maintain that if she sees her older sister getting away with too much, too often.) We haven't been intentionally "letting" Myla get away with things - but we haven't been consistent enough (particularly between the two of us.) It begins now. We (both) give her one warning, and time-out takes effect immediately upon ignored warnings.  If we're in a restaurant... we leave. If we're in the grocery store... we leave. Whatever it takes to get the point across. Leaving time-out so soon? Add a minute each time she moves, and put her back silently each time. (Zero attention.) Less emphasis on protecting her feelings, and more emphasis on correcting bad behavior and setting her up for an overall better life because of it. (Um, and US too!)

So, needless to say - my house is pretty sparkly right now, and my mind is clear again. (Man, that feels good!) I woke up this morning with a whole new perspective on things, and am feeling much more like myself again. It'll take a bit of doing to get Myla to where we need her... but I feel like we have some directive now. She's always posed a greater challenge, and therefore, it's natural for us to have to take extra steps to feel our way with her upbringing. Now that Joel's on board with me, this should be much less strenuous. Thank God for Swiffer!


TIP: Watching Nanny 911 can be beneficial... sometimes. So can eating chocolate. [Maybe this will be a "famous quote" one day - with my name behind it! Ha.]

A QUOTE: "There may be dust in my house but there isn't any on me."  ~Author Unknown

WHIDFML: Awoke to rain, curled up, and went back to sleep.  :)

Click  HERE  for my song of the day today! 
AND, my horoscope! (Rather fitting)

Your Daily Horoscope: March 16, 2010

Sagittarius Nov. 22 - Dec 21

This is a good day to experience the magic of faith, Sagittarius. Expect a miracle, and you just might experience unexpected help coming from an unknown source. As long as you are not buying into defeatist thinking, today's opportunity period can bring anything from hope to a fresh start. If you do begin to believe that your forward momentum is lost, then the opportunity period will make that possibility real. Don't think in terms of limitation or lack, you will only succeed in creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of the most negative kind.

[Here's hoping there is a miracle involving less money owed for taxes, as well as the turn-around of our little (defiant) lady.]

For Our Next Trick...

Seemingly - I spoke too soon. Wait... I take that back... I'm still in a much better place, and truly have found the freedom (and motivation) to meander back out into the world, even with 2 toddlers in tow. Revelation still applies; Common disciplinary tactics still in effect. However....

I've realized that Myla - with her need for constant control - is starting to slowly eat away at my innards. This child is not your average child. Oh no. Never has been, and apparently, never will be. The saga continues. One major contributing factor, I've come to recognize, is Joel's misconception that Myla has some special need for insurmountable levels of attention. While he does step up to discipline the little lady, his desire to continue coddling her remains unchanged. 

Following a minor nervous break-down on my part, he finally seemed to really understand what I was getting at with this piece, and he's already shown vast improvement in his attempt to cushion all of her negative experiences. (See, with Myla, pretty much anything that doesn't go precisely the way she visualizes it - (every detail) - then becomes a 'negative experience'. She gets this from her dad - to whom I must give props - as he has come a long, long way in realizing that life is messy. It's much less stressful to choose your battles, and go along with the rest.) I certainly don't aim to blame him entirely - but I do believe that her ranting and very charged requests for 'daddy' all day long while he's at work, stem from this. I have come to recognize when she may need a bit of added cushion. (She is still only 3, after all.) But candy-coating everything for her isn't going to help her in the long-run - (or any of us!)

Addie is normal. She's an overall happy kiddo - She's smart, sweet, compassionate, sensitive... And she has her moments where she needs to stand up for herself (often against Myla's command), toss a tantrum, or otherwise test the waters of her growing independence. She eventually comes around, and generally wants everyone in the situation to be happy. We regularly give her options, and she seems to appreciate this approach. Her reactions are all normal, and to be expected. In fact, it's what I had always envisioned during this stage. Myla, on the other hand, will intentionally do the exact opposite of what you say - merely to spite you and maintain "control". She refuses to be told what to do (or not to do), and doesn't back down - EVER. No tactic seems to successfully retract a requested response out of her. Taking away shows, toys, treats, or other earned rewards... She could care less. Time-out. This she despises, but won't remain in her time-outs any more. She talks back, argues... She pushes every button possible. I can't begin to effectively describe some of the goings-on between she and I in our day-to-day. 

ANYwho - to make a loooooong story short: I'm at my wit's end with enduring constant Myla-spasms, and I'm out of ideas for avoiding/ correcting them. If all else fails, I'm prepared to shower the world with our daily drama via Nanny 911. 

So, we've survived the tidal-wave that was baby-drama, and have moved on to new and different issues. Such is life as a parent. At least this time, it is only with one of the two children... (though it affects us all indirectly in some way.) I don't mean to wish away a long-awaited summer season... but fall's preschool schedule is looking mighty appealing right about now!

I've always known (from birth) that Myla was "different". Not typical. This is appealing in many aspects... But when it comes to this control-battle... I'm the one in serious need of "TIPS"! (Or a Nanny intent on getting kids as such out of that mindset!) We'll see. Cheers to daddy for realizing the impact of his "overly-kind" (babying) ways, and stepping up to help me turn this kid around - before she hits those "tween" years! For our next trick................................. Now that nothing that has worked in the past seems to enable us to reinstate our position as the parents here, we'll need to unearth something entirely different... to compliment the 'different' child, and this new and different stage of growth. Suggestions are welcome!

TIP: If you notice 'special needs' - tackle them early on. Don't wait until you lose your sanity ;)

A QUOTE: "There comes a time when deceit and defiance must be seen for what they are. At that point, a gathering danger must be directly confronted. At that point, we must show that beyond our resolutions is actual resolve."  

WHIDFML: I picked up some fun new eye-shadow on clearance. (Regular price would have been around $13... I paid about $2.60 for all 3 compacts!)  How could I not??

The Perks include FREE Comedy, DAILY!

 Photo by Joel

A couple of Myla's most recent funnies:

~After realizing she wasn't going to "win" during a recent transgression, she sighed, "Ohhh, You're Im-POS-sible..." (with a smile)

~As if she hadn't realized this already (after being previously corrected - Mind you, Daddy is the perpetrator in his regular use of this phrase around the tikes), she blurted out the following: "'Oh boy!' is a good word... But 'holy crap' is a bad word." (Insert sheepish grin with shoulders hunched.) 

~I was jotting down some of these things so I'd remember what I wanted to blog about next... (They were adding up fast!) As I was writing, she inquired, "Are you writing a letter for olives??" [She had previously witnessed me jotting down things I had remembered we needed from the grocery store.] :)

 Photo by Joel

Addie gets funnier by the day! ~

~Mommy is going potty, and she wants to see... (Ok. WILL this ever win me the opportunity to stop buying diapers???) She sticks her face down as close to me as possible and asks, "Poopin' mommy??" 

~After completing my whiz (thank you very much), she tries to flush for me... She's not quite strong enough, and while struggling with the handle, she shouts, "C'mon.... C'MON! Come ON, dude!" I almost peed myself again laughing!

 ~When something isn't going quite her way... she regularly mumbles, "No no no..." while trying to correct the problem. 


~She mimics her Grandpa Mack ("Papa") by answering "Nope!" when she means no.


~She mimics her Grandma Roxane by sighing, "Oh maaaaaaaaaaan!" when something goes wrong. (Much better than "Oh crap" for a 2-year-old though, don't you think!?) It's truly adorable. Type can't adequately portray the emphasis, and it's almost with a chuckle that it's usually exclaimed... Kind of with the attitude like, "bummer - but no use crying over THAT!"

Nursery Rhymes?

Growing up, my dad had some funnies he'd share that he learned in his own youth... One such kid-friendly rhyme sequences as follows: "Oooey-Gooey was a worm, a mighty worm was he. One day he sat on the railroad tracks, the train he did not see; Oooooooeeeey-Gooooeeeey!"
The girls are now learning this fun little ditty from Grandma & Grandpa ~ only their version is something like this: "Oooey-Gooey worm was he. Ooooooeeey-Goooooeeey." 
Hm. Somehow, it's not as funny written out as it is when witnessed live! (Guess I'll have to get that on video. Thanks for bearing with me! HA.) 

TIP: If you start reading to them very early on... even if they lose interest, their interest tends to re-surface again later. Start with rhyming books, they love 'em! They'll get hooked.
A QUOTE: "What we remember from childhood we remember forever - permanent ghosts, stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen."  ~Cynthia Ozick
WHIDFML: Over the weekend, Joel and I trimmed a few trees. Then we enjoyed an outdoor bonfire with the fruits of our labor, treasuring this spring-time weather, all while the girls napped. 

My Revelation! (Finally)

When I was a new mom, I felt overwhelmed for a while. This was heightened when number 2 arrived 17 months later. Dealing with the pandemonium of, well, motherhood, in addition to the baby's Colic, acid-reflux, sleep-resistance, the second baby's food intolerance, my own newly-discovered food intolerance (gluten), lack of sleep, and my inability to pump during nursing - I was understandably under a lot of stress. That doesn't touch base on any of the other life-issues that were being dealt with besides. (Regular life + bigger circumstances also ensued.) 
I recall reading an article in a parenting magazine about this woman who had undergone a revelation after supressing her needs in the beginning of her mothering journey. She made mention of things such as the following: "I realized, I can still cook gourmet meals - I just have a baby now! I'm still ME." And, "I can still socialize with my friends, and go out shopping, just with a baby now!" 
Say what? 
I felt even less adept at mothering after reading that, actually. Here I was, my optimistic self - trying desperately to see the light at the end of the tunnel on particularly difficult days, and making a point to seek the silver lining, and focus on how much I love these little people that God blessed me with. Yet, in spite of my positive thoughts and diligence in re-inventing balance in my life, I couldn't help but wonder, "Where the heck is MY revelation?" 
Gourmet meals? HA! Out with friends... Hm! Not this girl... This girl was actually more stressed  in her initial attempts at doing anything "normal" and "just with a baby now". While I still held out hope for some return to normalcy once the impending disarray subsided (SOME day), I had pretty much decided that "a revelation" was not in the cards for me. 
But alas! It appears that my revelation was just hidden behind days, months, years... of learning to tackle disciplinary issues in coordination with my husband;  maintaining communication with him through the shrieks, whimpers, and also the squeals of glee; managing 2 children close in age, equally needy, but with amazingly varied requirements; learning to balance babies, me-time, couple-time, work, house maintenance, daily responsibilities, exercise, eating, and sleep (all within 24 hours time each and every day!); re-establishing priorities in order to effectively refrain from going insane; and figuring out which things are temporary, which can be changed, and which things to suck up! (Hey - no wonder it took me a while.) 
I've never felt more assured, more fulfilled, more priority-driven, or more confident in myself and my needs, as well as my wants in life. I'm making daily progress -  making my way toward goals that are important to me, as well as my family, and I'm still learning and growing as a result. We finally seem to be past the true "baby-stage". I thought that might make me a bit sad... In actuality - I'm relieved, and I know that I was directly involved (probably more than I should have been) - and didn't miss out on any aspect of it whatsoever. Also - my passion for photography has enabled me to satisfy the sentimental fool within via literally thousands of photographs to take me back to the good times as often as I want! AHA - see - revelation! I feel so FREE! I can move around - get out of the house, cook (sometimes!), take them on adventures, go outside and play, (go outside and relax by myself when they happen to be with the retired grandparents for grandbaby day!) I can think... I can breathe... I am ME again! Only better, stronger, and even more focused on what's truly important. 
Hahahahaha! Finally! It only took around 3-1/2 years. ('Bout damn time.) ;)

TIP: When your mother tells you, "It WILL get better... I promise," take solace in the knowledge that she is right! (Keep your chin up!)

A QUOTE: "Cease trying to work everything out with your minds. It will get you nowhere. Live by intuition and inspiration and let your whole life be Revelation." ~Eileen Caddy

WHIDFML: Set aside the photo-blog that stopped working, and caught-up on THIS blog! :)