Wednesday, November 21, 2012
I was moved today - and I put into motion my emotion as I recognized how God is moving in my life. I was at the counter preparing my 'wing-it-night' meal, while the girls were seated at the small kitchen table for 2, having just finished theirs. They were playing so sweetly across the table with a toy or two - giggling away, and just being their sweet selves - (you know, the versions-of-self that emerge when there is no 'wanting', no 'but what ifs' and no overtired crabbiness taking over....) It was another moment of Kairos. Little giggles, amid the festive Christmas music, and a day of zen - and I got caught up in an emotional moment - holding back tears so the girls wouldn't think something was WRONG during this in-the-now wrinkle in time.
Without much more thought, I swooped little Addie up and sat her upon the table saying, "Don't ever sit on the table, it'll fall over and you'll get hurt." As I pulled her close to Myla seated at the other side, and wrapped them both in my arms, Addie gave me her "Um - MOM!" look, as she informed me, "Uh... I AM sitting on the table...." (complete with a knowing head-tilt bearing some "I just though YOU outta know" flair.) "I know - but I'm holding you. Don't ever do it again though." (Teehee.) I squeezed them both as I told them how much I love them and daddy, and how happy I am to have them in my life, and thrilled that God gave them to me. They snuzzled-in, rubbing those soft cheeks & little noses against my own, as we all just stopped what we were doing, and held each other. LOVE. As much as I like to believe it's a moment I'll never forget - realistically - it'll become buried deeper beneath the continual ebb & flow of life's commitments, goals, and other business, and the details might become foggy. Hence - e-diary to the rescue :)
I want them to KNOW... REALLY know - what they mean to me. I hope I show it on a regular basis - but at least I took an opp to put it into words as well. I hope THEY will always remember~
TIP: Training my brain (STILL) to be more in the here & now, and less in the "what do I have to remember to do?" mode of thinking... Keep training. It'll never be perfect - but it'll keep getting better. :)
A Quote: “There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one” ~ Jill Churchill
WHIDFML: Let go of some things... Found a greater sense of inner peace again, and have taken that and am RUNNING! ;)