My husband and I have been married for over 4 years, and have been together for 14 of those 4 ~ with one major break-up at roughly the half-way point. We’ve worked hard at keeping the lines of communication open wide (yet another cliché – but without honest & meaningful communication, what do you have in any relationship??) I feel much like my 1-1/2 year-old little girl when she tries to say a word (especially when it’s a new word to her) and I happen to understand her! That glee, that excitement, the glow of appreciation in her eyes. I can relate… as when I express something to Joel, and he addresses it as though it’s important (because he realizes now, that it IS to me!) – and seems to comprehend what I’ve just said! (This, after some years of feeling nearly ignored, is truly electrifying!)
We’ve put much effort into determining how we can really connect and team-up, rather than taking out our frustration on one-another, and ultimately pushing each other away. It’s taken years of ups & downs to get there – but I have to say, it continually gets better with each new MILESTONE!
TIP! KEEP DATING. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you no longer have a need to carve out time for one another. Movie nights at home/ dinner out and a concert/ a walk around a nearby lake/ biking/ fishing/ whatever you both enjoy! Just do it – alone together – regularly. You have to keep adding wood to the fire, or the fire eventually burns out.
Our little girls are another dream-turned-reality. While we adore them more than life & liberty, we also have come to learn that child-rearing isn’t all butterflies & rainbows. I guess I’ve always known that… but I still expected it to be a little bit ‘dreamier’ - if you will, than it seems on most days. The thing is – even the spilled milk, the crying over it, and the near-constant chaos that ensues in our household on a daily basis is worth it. For instance - those moments when they spontaneously hug you and tell you that you are their most favorite mommy ever – you find yourself wondering, “How could I ever become frustrated by this innocent, sweet child??” Then, they turn and bite their sibling, and you remember exactly HOW. It’s a bit of a rollercoaster, but when the ride slows down one day, I’m pretty sure we’ll throw our hands in the air and say – ‘again’! [Only this time – with grandkids – and less screaming!] :)
A QUOTE:"Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it." ~David Sedaris
WHIDFML: Put a lot of thought onto "paper" (the electronic variety) :)