Wednesday, October 7, 2009

What We Won't Do to Get Our Kids to Sleep!

Well.... How many times do we have to be doubled-over in pain before we finally talk Myla into the fact that the baby-gate isn't going to keep those dragons away anyway?
Too many...

Picture if you will, a closet door, where while open, takes up nearly a quarter of the little bedroom shared by two toddlers ~ (2 cribs, hello!) Now picture this! No more door, and a nice curtain dangling from a rod above the frame... Sweet! Well, in the wild world of dragons who come out of closets at night, not-so-sweet. Apparently, they aren't afraid of curtains. Damn!
So Daddy comes up with a seemingly winning solution. He proceeds to extract the baby-gate from it's burial in the closet, and places it across the door frame in front of the curtain. Brilliant!

Until... we learned about just how athletic we'd need to be in order to effectively jump (stumble over) this hurdle with each closet entry (and exit!)

Daddy practically broke a toe. Mommy acquired 2 bruised knees. Daddy fell on top of the dresser on the other side of the "door" (curtain). Mommy almost fell - but thankfully the gate broke loose and torpedoed across the room instead - leaving her still fearing the worst while she agonized over the pain in her back for the rest of the night. (Luckily, it seems to be okay this morning.)

We kept moving the curtain behind the gate (so we'd remember it's existence as we entered), and then back in front of it again (so as to recall it's existence upon exiting the closet)... After I unwittingly punted it to the opposite wall while staggering to maintain balance and avoid feeling my head pouncing the opposite wall in the gate's wake, I decided - it was no longer worth it! The gate had seen its final means of utilization. No longer would we attempt to employ it for anything other than its intended purpose ~ keeping little PEOPLE out of dangerous locales. 
We thought we'd been pretty sly about it, as this final blow came to a head while babies were in the bath under daddy-supervision, and mommy attempted to prepare fresh clean jammies and the like... But no. Myla is one of the most observant individuals I've ever known. She'd notice the most minute changes to her environment, even as a tiny baby! So of course, she announced that this would not do. In her sparkly little eyes, the beloved gate had impeded not only mommy & daddy's entry & exit from this storage space, but also those hideous, kid-eating dragons that lurked in the darkest corners of the walk-in closet that ranks close in size to the room itself. Damn again!
So, we had a pep-talk, and as it turns out... dragons are fearful of space-heaters, and night-lights, and comforting music, and all the wonderful things that dangle about in the room-o-toddlers at night. Do you suppose the fact that Myla was out of bed at least half a dozen times last night before falling asleep was merely coincidental? Probably. (Yeah, sure.) I'm starting to feel like a dragon myself... at least in the way of my own fire-breathing-snarl!

TIP! Don't let your toddlers watch Care Bears Movie 2, A New Generation, unless you are 199% certain that Dark Heart the Dragon will not impede their sleep habits. Also - the fact that Monsters, Inc. is happy-ending-monsters-make-you-LAUGH-Disney-flick, doesn't stop little imaginations from fearing something scary living in there regardless. Should have waited until at least age___??? Yeah. Exactly. (Maybe age 18?!?)
A QUOTE: "One need not be a chamber to be haunted; One need not be a house; The brain has corridors surpassing Material place.  ~Emily Dickinson 
WHIDFML: I got most of my 'chores' done this week, and am looking forward to a walk and some time to relax today - while the babes are at Grandma & Grandpa's house.

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